Day 4
I call heaven and earth to witness with you today:
I have put before you life and death, blessing and curse;
therefore, choose life so that you and your offspring will live
~Deuteronomy 30:19
Temperance
Today we encounter another card from the Major Arcana. Temperance asks us to bring two seemingly opposite substances together in an alchemical reaction and create something beautiful. In the flow of archetypes, Temperance follows Death.
At this time of the year, many things are beginning to die. The leaves will soon turn and fall, our gardens will go dormant, the sunlight will wane. Many of us find that our joy seems to die with the light, our seasonal depression flaring up.
Torah acknowledges this experience, declaring that "heaven and earth witness with you today..." Then we are exhorted to "choose life, so that you and your descendants will live."
This verse makes it sound like an either-or proposition, like we really have a say in the matter. Either life or death; either blessing or curse. But the truth is that death is inevitable, both in the rhythm of the seasons and in the human condition. Curses, too, are as prevalent as blessings, and as unrelated to our merit as death. They just are.
But if death is unavoidable, how can we choose life?
This is where Alchemy comes in, Temperance. We don't choose life instead of death. We mingle death with life, transform it, reduce its sting if we are lucky.
In the face of endings, we create new beginnings. We resist despair and keep fighting. We allow those things that need to be finished to end, and then we open ourselves up to the things waiting to be born. This is also the legacy we leave to the next generation.
What would it mean for you to choose life?
How can you temper your experience of death?
What is waiting to be born in your life out of the ashes of what is left behind?
Psalm 27:3
If an army encamps against me, my heart will not fear.
If war arises against me, in this one thing will I be trusting;
One thing I have asked for from Adonai, it is this one thing that I seek:
Sin and Loathing
The Kabbalists, Jewish mystics, often see metaphor in the practical, down-to-earth language of scripture.
Using this framework, we can understand today's verse of Psalm 27 as referring to our inner world. The armies which encamp against us are our sins: the ways in which we have failed to be true to our potential to be kind, compassionate, just, loving.
And we are often at war with those armies. We see our failures and we fight. We criticize ourselves for falling short, especially when we stumble again and again in the same ways. We may begin to hate ourselves for our failings.
An alternative to self-loathing is teshuvah.
When we sin, when we fail to live into our values, we can turn toward our best self and invite her to tea. Our best self, the one of highest possibility and potential, is ever kind and compassionate, patient and forgiving. If we turn toward her, maybe she will forgive us for no other reason than that she understands that we're doing our best.
When we do this sort of teshuvah, we mingle our curses with blessings. We may begin to release our failings and open ourselves up to the beautiful potential waiting to arise from within.
What would you say to your five-year-old self when they spilled milk on the floor or slipped in the mud? What words of kindness and compassion does your inmost self have to offer you?
Seeking and Trust
Tomorrow, we will learn what it is that the Psalmist is seeking after and trusting in when armies encamp and war arises.
For today, you might examine yourself to determine what you need when you are assaulted with the armies of your shortcomings and the war waged by your inner critic because of it.
Resources
One of the ways I face my internal armies, war, and death is with music. Music brings my soul alive like nothing else, and I use it to feel my feelings, to move past them, to change my mood, to move my body, to connect to my spirit. I'm excited about this playlist of "Songs for Turning" for Elul. I even know one of the artists personally! I’d love to hear what’s inspiring you this month.
I’ve been organizing my time this year (especially this program) using The Jewish Planner by Gold Herring. If you'd like to keep track of our prompts or Tarot cards, or just feel the flow of the Jewish calendar even for this month, you can get it here.