Day 17
Psalm 27:12
Do not hand me over to the will of my adversaries,
for lying witnesses have arisen against me
whose every breath does violence.
“
A sudden thud at the window
stops the morning
from veering off to a forgettable place.
Where were you before you looked up
to see the smashed feathers,
the smudge of blood on the pane?
”
Awakening
The Adversary
The Devil is more a Christian notion than a Jewish one, but ha-satan is a Hebrew term meaning "The Accuser" or "The Adversary."
In the frame story of the book of Job, The Adversary convinces the character of God to allow him dominion over Job in order to take away all his material wealth, from his children to his own bodily health.
In the Tarot, The Devil card also represents a corruption of the material world. There is nothing wrong with material pleasure, but when we are not mindful of the how and why, it can easily overtake us, turn us aside from our identities and purposes.
Soon we are no more than puppets dancing on the strings of alcohol, of keeping busy, of caffeine, of acquisition, of reality television, of speaking, of silence...
When we are in the grip of our addictions, socially acceptable though they often are, we may fail to see the dangers all around us.
As we use these coping mechanisms to numb our own pain, we also numb ourselves to the pain of others, and the pain of the world.
We become people who will sit by while holy places are burned to the ground, while children are shot or imprisoned, while humanity is stripped from one group after another. Perhaps even while it is stripped from us.
We believe in our own powerlessness, we sink into our addictions to dull the pain, and we become puppets for our adversaries.
In the Devil’s GripWe need forgiveness for our complicity, but first we must recognize it.
In order to be free, we only need to lift our chains, cut our strings. We're not bound as tightly as we might imagine...
But we must be compassionate toward ourselves as we make these discoveries and begin the slow process of waking up. A lack of compassion is often what has led us to the behaviors we need to apologize for in the first place!
We owe apologies to ourselves first of all.
For ignoring our pain and covering it over with material addictions that cause us even more sorrow.
For making our hearts race through their limited beats with stimulants, for refusing the rest our cells need to repair themselves.
For denying the tears we need so desperately to shed. For pretending we are ok.
And we need forgiveness for berating ourselves for our inability to overcome those addictions. For needing to always be ok.
What material behaviors do you need to forgive yourself for?
What material behaviors do you need to forgive yourself for?
Next, we owe apologies to our fellows, whose plights we have ignored.
For allowing things to go this far.
For abandoning the children of the neighborhood when we sent our child to private school.
For turning away from the homeless ones on the street.
For not talking back to Uncle Jim about his racist joke.
For allowing our privilege to advantage us and not using those advantages to help others get free.
What acts of complicity (and failure to act is an act) do you need forgiveness for, and from whom?